This is my afternoon dialogue...

Daya (I'm driving): Uh. Those assholes. I was going to let her through and then they just drove in front of her.
Dayne: Assholes?
Wylde: That's a bad word, Dayne.
Dayne: Bad word?
Dayne: Momma...
Wylde: Don't say it, Dayne.
Dayne: Momma...
Wylde: Don't say it, Dayne.
Dayne: Momma...
Wylde: Don't say it, Dayne.
Dayne: Momma...
Wylde: Don't say it, Dayne.
Daya: WYLDE! Just let him talk! Maybe he didn't want to say the bad word. Dayne, what did you want to say?
Dayne: Asshole.
Daya: Don't say that, Dayne, it's a bad word.

Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

Who doesn't know that Dayne is potty training?

So .... in case you haven't been reading let me catch you up... Dayne is currently in the process of potty training. It is a slow going and painstaking process.  He understands the concept but just can't seem to put thoughts into actions.
This morning was a "palm to forehead" morning. You know those moments where you hit yourself and make a "Doh!" sound. Yep that is the one.
I am in a particularly bad mood. I hate mornings. I LOVE to sleep. The kids on the other hand LOVE mornings!! So it was 8 am and I am getting breakfast ready, pouring my coffee. I turn around.  I scream "What are you DOING?" Dayne says "Peeing in my diaper, Duh."
True. He was peeing in his diaper which is normally just fine and dandy except normally the diaper is on his body and not laying on the kitchen floor.  Yes, he was peeing into his diaper as it lay on the floor and getting pee all over the kitchen.   Palm to forehead.

Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

I think he might finally get it.

Let's see we have been married for almost 8 years, together for 12 and our first child is 5 and I think he finally gets it! That didn't take near as long as I thought it would!
I hear Chett saying things like...."Where do your clothes go?"  "We are not leaving this house until this living room is picked up!" "Those toys need to go to your room."
I love it.
I think I love him more after hearing him be a stern mother, er father.
I feel validated.

Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

I wish I had a video of that!

As Chett was starting to repot Wyldes sunflowers (he got them from kindergarten camp and when they get as tall as we are it is time to start school) he moved some things around on the deck. Bad idea. Apparently he disturbed a healthy wasps/hornets nest (I don't really know the difference - I suppose I should google it). Needless to say the wasps were not happy and began to dive at him. One even stung his ear. He comes in screaming like a little girl. Seriously. His voice was higher than it was pre-puberty! Screaming about trying to get away from the angry wasps and nearly jumping off the deck just to get away from them. You see our deck has no outlet and the only way off is to climb down, jump off or go inside.  He thought the hose might help so he went into the backyard and began spraying them with the hose. Yeah. That helped.
Not wanting to get stung myself but wanting to help my husband who has no idea what he is doing I decide to dress for the occasion.  For me that means covering all visible skin so that the wasps have no where to sting me. So, in 100 degree heat I put on my "sweat" pants, chetts boots, my bath robe and put a scarf over my head!! I tell the kids to stay inside!!! I go out on to the deck and throw the wasps house over board!!! (the unused, broken grill Chett should have got rid of months ago!!) I kill, maybe 2! I screamed a little.
I swear if anybody was watching us at that moment had to think we were special.
My husband thanked me! I feel like we done good.

Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

I know I am biased...

Just yesterday Dayne and I saw some metal archs...like the skeleton of a building. Dayne said, "Look! Rainbows!"  I said "Yes! Those are the same shape as a rainbow but rainbows have a bunch of colors!!" He says, "We can paint them!"
I know I am biased but for a 2 year old I think that is pretty darn smart!!

Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

Now I remember!

Yep. Now I remember why I don't exercise at home! I tried working out this morning. It was just me and Dayne because Wylde is at Mema Dodo's. I turned on exercise TV on demand and picked out some "entertaining" workouts. Not 30 sec into it Dayne was bored and began to kick me and punch me and I said "Mommy is trying to lose weight. Do you want Mommy to be fat?" and He said "YES!"
So there you have it. Let's go eat ice cream!

Stay Funny San Diego, Daya