Can't think of a fancy title so just read it.

Dayne tells me today he has a booboo. He lifts up his leg and says "See, a chicken bite."  It was indeed a "chicken bite" aka chigger bite. 

Dayne cried for 10 mintues today because I told him his Mema Dodo and Mema Julie were girls and had vaginas, not penis'!  He was totally okay with me having a vagina though. Don't know what that means.


Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

You would think I would have learned after the key incident!

So....Chett was on call last week, meaning his cell phone could ring at anytime!  He went outside to mow and I was left with strict instructions on making sure the phone was with me at all times. That's all fine and dandy until the kids and I decided to go outside as well and enjoy the nice afternoon.  Knowing that Chett would scoff at me putting his phone on the concrete, perchance it may scratch it, I put his phone on the back of his car. Do you guys know where this is going?
Yep. Turns out the mower needed a part and Chett took off in his car. The kids and I go inside, we are in Daynes room and I see Chett is back from Wal-Mart, when it hits me. He took his CAR. His phone was on the car! I run outside and say..Um...did you happen to take your phone with you to Wal-Mart? No, he says and off I go to walk. I know exactly where the phone will be, due to the last incident of things being on the bumper of the car. Sure enough. There it lies on busy Moonlight, in pieces. Someone runs over it even I as cross the road to get it.  Ooops. Um. Needless to say Chetts phone is DOA. Luckily he has another one for back-up that I promptly rushed inside to activate. Sorry, honey. If you weren't so uptight about scratches, this wouldn't have happened! :)

Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

Really, Dayne!?!?!

So Wylde had his case manager over this morning to play games and chit chat. She often brings games that Dayne can play too so he doesn't feel left out!
We are all sitting at the kitchen table playing games and out of nowhere Dayne says "Mommy's vagina has blood in it!" she didn't understand what he was saying and since he was playing with somehting red she assumed he was saying something about "red". He repeated it 3 times and I finally said, "That's mommy's private business" to which I know that then she was REALLY confused.  He stopped saying it and I could see on her face then that she was like...what was he saying that was private Mommy business...

I felt like telling her what he was saying just so she wouldn't be confused because it isn't like it's a secret that my vagina has blood in it once a month. But, really, Dayne?!! Do you not have other things to talk about?
Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

I almost forgot to tell you!

So hubby and I watch "The Last Song" last night. As the movie is starting it is telling the names of the people in the movie...you know what I am talking about. I am upstairs getting some popcorn and Chett says Nick Lachey must be hard up for money. (He was trying to be funny saying that Nick was a minor part in a movie - which he would be lucky to have if you ask me). I know a lot of you probably don't know who Nick Lachey is. He was married to Jessica Simpson and was in the band 98 degrees, he has been in some reality shows and bit parts in other TV shows.  Anyway, I wonder the whole movie when Nick Lachey is going to come on screen. Wondering what lame acting role he has been given.  He wasn't in the movie! I wonder, did I miss him? Was he an extra during the volleyball game? So I watch the credits at the end of the movie to see what he played. It wasn't Nick Lachey, It was Nick Lashaway. WTF.  I don't even know who that guy is and he certainly isn't Nich Lachey. What a dumbass.

Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

I wasn't there!

I am going to retell a story that my Mom told me. I wasn't there so I won't be able to give any specifics or anwswer any questions!
As you all know, Dayne is potty training. He does pretty good. On a good day he will pee all day in the potty but poop in his pants. I have tried not to put pressure on him because I know that can be detrimental.  I told him after the 5th time he has pooped in his pants that if he wants to wear his diapers I would rather him poop in his diaper than poop in his panties!  I feel like he gets it, he repeats everytime we put on his panties "No poop on Elmo, no pee on Elmo!" (note: he wears Elmo panties) but alas, then he pees or poops on Elmo. The diaper thing seemed to work though. When he had to go poop he told me he wanted to put a diaper on!Eureka! I put him on the potty instead of putting on a diaper and he poops in the potty! WOOT!
Then he goes to Mema's for the weekend. He has a pee accident but he had been playing and we think he prolly just forgot. Then, Mom notices Dayne by the swingset, outside. He's got his pants and panties completely off. She goes to him. "Uh, Dayne, what are you DOING?" Dayne says, "I pooped" Yes. Yes he did. He pooped outside, right in front of the swingset is a nice sized clump of poop. It was on his legs, his feet and right in the area of traffic of kids playing.  Not only did mom have to clean Dayne up but she had to clean the yard up as well! I'm kinda proud of him though. He didn't poop in his panties afterall!!!

Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

He gets it from his brother!

Of course Dayne idolizes his big brother! He will try and say, be and do everything Wylde does. For example Daynes vocabulary.... things are "awesome", said just like his brother! Another often used phrase is "Can I get that for my birthday?" This phrase is used 100 times at the store or while watching TV.  However, Wylde just had his birthday and Dayne's is coming up! I have been paying close attention then to what Dayne is asking for, for his birthday. While at Sam's Club he wanted the play set, the popcorn maker, crackers, candy, olive oil, juice, chips, pillows and I don't remember what else.  While watching TV last night he wanted "Just For Men" hair color and a "Baby Alive". I am sure whether he is weird or just doesn't really get the concept....

Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

According to Dayne...

I asked Dayne yesterday, "Where did you get those dimples?"
Dayne: "In my room!"
Daya: "Haha, where in your room?"
Dayne: "Under the bed!"
Daya: "No silly, those dimples are where the angel kissed you when you were born!"
Dayne: "Angel bite me?"
Daya: "No! They didn't bite you! they kissed you!"
Dayne: "Why?"
Daya: "Because you are blessed!"
Dayne: "Why?"
Daya: "Oh nevermind."


Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

I can't believe nobody said anything!

This Sunday, chett and I had his family over for dinner to celebrate his Dad's birthday! We made ribs and I made orange fluff and crab puffs and chocolate swirl cheesecake and Mandy made sugar cookies and pork loin and corn on the cob. It was a helluva feast!! Chett's family are iced tea drinkers so I made a huge batch of tea as well.
Let's talk about this tea for minute. The day before we had gone to Sams Club and i had gotten a huge variety pack of tea! Included were such flavors and Vanilla Chai, Spiced Chai, Lemon Tea etc...I thought hmmmm, Lemon tea would be great for our dinner!! So I brewed a 3qt batch of lemon tea! I used every single bag of lemon tea I had. (6 tea bags). as soon as it is ready I pour myself a huge glass!  I take a drink.  What the fuck is this shit? It tastes like cinnamon tea with a minor hint of lemon after taste. It was rather funky!!! I don't have any other tea to make into iced tea. all the other is black/chai tea. Then it hits me. Duh. Why would there be 6 of one unspiced lemon tea in an economy size 80 pack? This must have been spiced too and it is funky. That's okay...I wait for everyone to drink. I then wait for everyone to say how strange the tea tastes!
No one says anything!!! I can't believe no one says anything! This is the weirdest tea I have ever tried. I am not sure whether to be flattered that no one would want to offend me or upset that no one would be honest?

Stay Funny San Diego, Daya