Just need to vent.

SERIOUSLY? IT'S LIKE A FUCKING CIRCUS OR A WING IN THE LOONY BIN WHERE THEY HAVE TOURRETTES OR NO VOICE VOLUME CONTROL! I have a headache. I have had a headache for weeks now. Not a bad one, not a migraine, just an annoying headache that won't go away.  Today it is a little worse than usual, I think it is just this time of year. Days and weeks of cold nasty sunless weather makes everyone sick and crazy. Especially the kids, oh the kids... I had to bring out the whistle the other day because I just couldn't yell anymore.  The boys are just like their father so when all three of them are here and it is nasty outside, it is needless to say that my headache would be worse.
Chett is yelling nonsense, the kids are running down the hallway screaming, Chett is turning the TV up to drownout the kids, Chett goes up to make himself a drink and swirls his cup full of ice, eating the loudest food he can think of to eat, the cat is snoring, Chett is yelling at the kids to stop yelling.  OMG MAKE IT STOP!!! The ice. THE ice, THE ICE!!! I can't stand the ice!!! If he swirls it one more time I am gonna go over there and dump that fucking cup over his god damn head.

Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

If you read my blog you will appreciate this!

Today Chett took the day off so that I could go to some Dr appts without the children or rushing to get home before the kids are home from school!
We were arguing over which one would pick Wylde up from school. i thought since He was home it would be a treat for him to go get Wylde since I do it everyday. He thought since he had taken him I should pick him up.
Alas, I had to poop! Ahahahahahahaha. He was trying to talk to me but I shouted:
"Haha, I am sorry, I am not able to do what you need me to do at this moment because I inconveniently need to poop! Can't hear you through the fan and sound of my pooping. Have fun picking up Wylde!"
Ah. Redemption.

Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

I think I am going to become a stand up comedian.

It came to my attention as I watched Saturday Night Live yesterday that the funniest skits are when they lose it and laugh at themselves, regardless of whether the skit is actually funny or not! With that in mind I think I will be a stand up comedian and just tell really stupid jokes but laugh at myself the whole time like I am the funniest person I know!
Based on this idea, I think this is why I find Jimmy Fallon so amusing. He is ALWAYS laughing at himself.
Did you hear the one about the 2 dudes that walked into the bar? you would think the second one would have ducked. AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. COuGh, CoUgh, ummm, good times.


Stay Funny San Diego, Daya

I call shenanigans

Seriously. Let's consider the tooth fairy for a moment, shall we?
If the tooth Fairy was an actual person, I think it would be male. He would have copious amounts of childrens teeth in his home and a huge bank account!  He sneaks into your childs room at night and pays for their teeth. He must be some sort of pedophile/cleptomaniac?
Can you imagine the headlines? Police find thousands of teeth in mans home, tiny man with fairy costume held for questioning.
While we are on this subject. Who invents these things anyway? Is it just me or is a human sized rabbit that walks upright and hides easter baskets not a tad bit terrifying? Have you not seen Donnie Darko??
Sesame Street? Again, human sized monsters with the mentality of children??  Cookie Monster always stealing cookies and yelling/growling whenever he talks, no matter what he is talking about!
I think therapy is going to need to be a mandatory class in junior high and high school. Math, English, Science, History,  Psychotherapy!


Stay Funny San Diego, Daya