I guess it doesn't help that I am listening to adele "someone like you". I was pmsing yesterday. hard. according to my psychiatrist it only gets worse with age and then you menopause and it's gone. well the pmsing is definitely getting worse. I cried all day yesterday, for no reason. today is better. i can go hours not crying and then it come without the full body heaves.
So the husband comes home late after hanging out with friends and adds acid to my already diminished attitude. "i only want my wife back, the sweet, happy, pain free, smiled all the time, laughed all the time wife that I started dating back in the day" Well then sign the divorce papers. I was 18 years old. Sorry. That girl is long. I wish I could have her back too. He finished with " i love you, will always love you"
when I was in high school I was SO naive. So innocent. I never in a million years ever thought anything would be hard. I thought being a mom and a housewife would be second nature to be. Little did i know that just being a woman would be the hardest thing I have ever had to be.
I know what plaques me. I know I have severe pms. I see an OBGYN, I see a neurologist, I see a psychologist that was once an obgyn. My monthly cycle cause me at least 2 sets of migraines a month. Well the birth control have helped that but now the psychologist things I should be put on a different type of pills to help maintain my mood fluctuations. Yet none of this conclusive because my hormone and thyroid levels are normal.
right now I want to rip out anything inside my body that releases any womanly hormone and light it on fire. I want to be prepubescent and naive and happy. Please. PLEASE. Please somebody help me.
Good Daya To You! I Said, Good Day!!!
Daya
1 comment:
I had hard, long horrible periods (till I nearly bled to death during the onset of menopause) but never had any of the emotional baggage or headaches that plague you. I thought my stinct in early womanhood was tough, but you have me beat hands done. If you have another kid get rid of those female organs and be happy. Hang in there!
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