I do love to twirl hair!

To make a short story, long....
In case you don't know, I have a cold and drank some bad water. Tonight I took some cold medicine and some anti-nausea medicine for dizziness; feeling a little goofy. My husband, who has natural really curly hair, and I were laying in bed talking as I began to twirl his hair. He really needs a hair cut. It occurs to me that I can get his hair into ringlets, small ringlets that look like his hair is in curlers. Lucky me he is so tired, he is complacent and just lays there as I now excitedly start expertly parting his hair into tiny imaginary hair curlers! I'm all done with the entire left side when he moves and grunts as if he's a bear waking from hibernation. Pawing my hands away from his sweet curls. I'm so sad I didn't get the other side done!!! He grumbles "Can you scratch my back?" I say "Only if you lay back down and let me put the rest of your hair in curlers!" "Hmph!" to which he lays back down with his head in the perfect position for me to finish his hair! Then I made him turn on the light and look at my masterpiece!!


OMG. He didn't appreciate it as you can imagine. However, if I hadn't been concerned about his ego, I would have fallen over and died. Fallen over and died, right there. All he needed was a goddamned muumuu and cigarette hanging from his lips. My inner child laughed so hard she peed and I'm worried I may have sepsis. Oh shit that was funny.
Now I can't sleep, I got so worked up over all of that!!


It was worth it.

Give peas a chance.

Daya

2nd reason I hate Spring!

I never knew this reason until last night so when I said One and Only reason I hate spring, I didn't know about this one yet!!
There is a bird outside my bedroom window that is maniacal and schizophrenic and rude. It chirps, tweets, tells itself it's a pretty bird, laughs maniacally, coughs, chirps, tweets, pretty bird, pretty bird, cough, cough, laugh, laugh, hack, hack,  tweet tweet, sing, sing, sing, sing, pretty bird pretty bird, tweet tweet, chirp, chirp, raaawr, woop, wooop, wooop,  whooo, whooo, I'm a pretty I'm a pretty bwahahahaha, whir, whir, tweet!
I even recorded it if anyone disbelieves me! Chett said it sounded like a car alarm!
It was one bird.
Non-stop.
I know I have a history of insanity but Chett has a history of sanity and I have it recorded. This is fo real people.  If I hear it tonight I am going to don black ninja gear and stalk that bird to either kill, maim and torture or cage for future use in torture and information gathering.
I will keep you posted.


Seriously though, this bird is going down.

Good Daya To You! I Said, Good Day!!! Daya

Is this juice or pee? Juice or Pee?

Dayne comes out of the bathroom and says, "Does this look like apple juice?" he holds up a blue water bottle with what looks like apple juice in it and I glance quickly and say, "Yeah"Then he says "Wylde, I have apple juice for you! Drink it! Drink the apple juice! I have apple juice for you, you should drink it!"

The excitement and urgency in his voice was a warning to me that something was going on! I immediately called Dayne to me and grabbed his cup. It was warm. "Dayne...what is in this cup?" "Apple juice." "Dayne, what did you do to this cup?" "Nothing." "What did you do to this cup?" "Nothing." "Did you pee in this cup?" "No." "What did you do to this cup?" "I peed in it."

OMG. "Do you know what Wylde would have done if he drank your pee?" Had a major meltdown and cried and would never recover. "He would get sick! It isn't healthy for people to drink pee! That isn't funny!!! Don't you ever do that again!!" Okay, I admit, it was kind of funny and a little frightening that a 4 year old would think to pee in a bottle to play a trick on his 7 year old brother. I am in such big trouble!


Good Daya To You! I Said, Good Day!!! Daya

I hate Spring for ONE reason!!

JUNE BUGS!!!!
And why bother calling them June bugs when they come out in April? I see one and immediately scream like a little girl and run around in circles on my tip toes waving my hands like limp noodles!
2, count them 2, made there way into my house tonight!! There buzzing will give me nightmares!!! Girls...you feeling me?  You ever had one in your hair? They have those little feelers that stick to everything! OMG I hate those little fuckers.
What is the purpose of them anyway? There sole purpose is to buzz too loudly and to get stuck in our hair, spawning horror and nightmares in unsuspecting, innocent human beings that were simply minding their own business.
Goddamned June Bugs.
Not to mention they are the stupidest damn bugs. What do they gain by flying into my hair? Or they fly into screen doors and they get those awful devil feelers stuck in the door and can't get them out. Stupid bugs. Serves them right. 
OMG, did I mention I HATE June bugs?
I fucking hate June bugs.
The worst, most worthless, loudest, scariest bug there is; I would rather have have moths, spiders or ants or be stung by a bee. Seriously. Did I mention I hate June Bugs.
If there is a quiz later and it asks you if I hate June bugs, the answer is True. If there is a question that asks you what bug I hate most, the answer is June Bugs.  If the next question is my shoe size, it's 9.
I hate June Bugs.


Good Daya To You! I Said, Good Day!!! Daya

Tiny canvas!

Sunday afternoon marked a momentous occasion! Kim and I's first outing together since her daughter's birth! We had some much needed pampering and went to see the "The Lucky One"!
So let's start with all the good stuff.
Zac Efron is HOT!
Zac Efron is of age now so I no longer feel like a pedophile for thinking said MAN is HOT!
Movie was great, of course book is better.
Beautiful day!
Spending time with Kim is always a good time!
Now the bad...
Pedicure was awful!
First off, I don't know if other people had appointments but we had to wait while other people who got there after us got seated before us.
Then Kim's pedicure gets started and I waited 15/20 min. lady on my left got hers. (she got there after me).
The guy finally got to me and already we had issues when he was asking me what I wanted and I told him I wanted extra care on my calluses. Ask my sister...I have really nasty callused feet. He just didn't get it. Oh well I figured, he would get it once he saw my feet. Nope.
He did a good job massaging then at the end he asks "what's your favorite color?" (I had picked out neon pink for my paint color already) and I thought he was making conversation. I go on a spiel about how I don't discriminate and it depends on my mood, all the while he nods and isn't doing anything. I think this odd so I pick a color and end the conversation thinking he can't talk and paint at the same time. I was waiting for him to put a design on my big toes.
I say, "blue, if I had to pick I say cobalt blue". So he picks out all his blue out of his cart and I say "nononono, I just want a black design, only black. Black and pink!" he tries to say "blue later?" "sure" I say, "I'll try blue another time." So he gets out the black and I think it's going to be good! Then he gets out the white, real heavy handed on the white, then he gets out green, and gold, and silver (by this time I am 15 minutes late for the movie and I just want him to stop painting!!! Kim has already texted that she has seats saved and the previews are over and the actual movie is started!) and he ends with a nice big dollop of cobalt blue. He is so proud of his tiny canvas'! He says to me boldy, "You like yes! Nobody ever have design like this ever, only you! It' beautiful!"

Peace Can

For Christmas this year Chett got me a van. Yay! Uh, wait. Couldn't drive it for 4 months while he takes his time to get it tagged, he had to get the title from his boss who he bought it from.
I took it upon myself then to sell one of our cars so therefore he had to tag it so I would have a car to drive. Alas, brings the drama.
He goes to tag it with the title. Title needs to be signed by bosses wife. Boss takes at least 3 days to get wife to sign it and give back to Chett, while I have no car to drive.
Also, it is a Missouri vehicle so we had to pay to have it inspected.
I told Chett when I get a new vehicle I want 3 things -
1) more space
2) DVD players for the kids
3) radio that plays my ipod
New van - 2003 has more space. 1 out of 3 things I asked for, no DVDs, and no ipod player... it does have 153,000 miles. Won't play CD's.  Drivers window doesn't roll down. Drivers side sliding door only closes when it is slammed because there is a dent.  Children don't know how to open the doors (they are used to Mema's super new nice vans)
I tried for so long to be thankful and not look a gift horse in the mouth and then the 2nd day I actually drive it (last week). It overheats on the highway.  Really?
So I tried to tell Chett that I hate it but then I still sound ungrateful. He hears "It isn't good enough."
Well......it isn't what I wanted. I didn't get to pick it out. It's broken. Yes, he got a really good deal but if he has to spend all this money to fix the window and the thermostat and serpentene belt and whatever else, cound't I have gotten a nicer van with nothing wrong with it???
So  I am just going to bite my tonque and decorate my "piece" with peace signs and make it fun to drive at least. When live gives me shit, I'm gonna make a peace out of it. I'm calling it my Peace Can.
By the way, can you put a peace sign upside down??? I just realized in picture 2, the metal peace signs are upside down....oops.
Picture 4 shows off my fluffy pink steering wheel, peace sign air freshner mom and dad got me for Christmas, and my peace sign, dove, world necklace rearview mirror bling! I also have on order a daisy antenna topper! Woot!
It's a Peace Can!

Good Daya To You! I Said, Good Day!!! Daya

Man do I feel better!!

I feel so much better after i got that rant off my chest!! I have also found out since then that our insurance does have some additional support/appendixes for lack of a better word that offer me information, monetary aide and therapy outside of KU so i will be doing a lot of calling around about that tomorrow! On a side note, Chett has been telling me for years to change my eating habits and my sister even urged that I try lap band but like so many other people.... I don't like to do anything unless it is my idea, in my time, at my own doing. I hAte being told what to do and have been known to be stubborn in certain circumstances... Well at 34yrs old i had an epiphany. It finally occured to me the other day that the article i read on migraines said not to eat processed foods or refined sugars etc. then the article i read on depression said that it could be caused by processed foods etc. as i was reading an article about anxiety it mentioned diet of processed food etc... Are you seeing a pattern? OMG do you know what also causes obesity? Processed foods and all that...no joke! So. I have blogged before about exercising, losing weight, dieting etc. im not doing any of thAt. Right now, i just want to share with you that i am making an effort to be more healthy. Eat more fruits and veggies, drink more water... I had a hamburger patty and roasted brussel sprouts for dinner! I was starved by 10:00!! So i had a nutella and banana sandwich on wheat bread! Am i exercising? No, just having fun and burning calories with friends! Spent time todAy at the park with the kids! Im not weighing myself, not stressing! Sure, i had half a can a pop today, some peanut m&ms! Who cares!! I am a stubborn fat unhealthy woman who needs to take control! I need to be healthy and hydrAted and care about myself, after that....i think everything will fall peacefully and beautifully, happily into place. Good Daya To You! I Said, Good Day!!! Daya

Oh man, do I need to RANT!!!

Each year chett's ins gets worse and worse and worse! He works for KU Hospital, you would think we would get good benefits! He pays $650 a month and this year my co pay went up another $5 (it started at $0, then went to $5 and now it is $10) not horrible but I still have to use KU hospitals. I called last week to make an appt with the dermatologist and the first available appt is June 13th. My Psychologist quit seeing patients and I had to get a new one, they gave me a student that didn't speak fluent English. I was a suicidal, depressed, anxiety ridden, hair pulling, mess - i met with her and then immediately met with her attending to go over everything i just went over with her.... I left worse than I was. I got on the internet to find a new dr and the procedure to make an appt was to schedule an appt over the computer. It has been a week and no one has called.
The ins also no longer covers chiropractors, my prescription fees have gone up. Me dental is horrible, although that is Delta Dental not necessarily through KU. Oh and we don't have a choice anymore what plan we want through Blue Cross and Blue Shield - everyone gets the same one now.
I am so fucking pissed I could cry. I have no one to call and yell at, can't yell at blue Cross and Blue shield, what can they do? I could call and yell at KU but they are Chett's boss and are giving everyone the same treatment! We pay more in every month than we did last year, pay more in co-pays, pay more for prescriptions, not to mention I have to see KU doctors that either I have to wait 6 months to see or see a resident! It is all so BULLSHIT!!!!!!!
Not to mention the fact that I have been bleeding for 12 or so days and the bleeding just gets worse because I am transitioning to continuous birth control pills versus taking a pack, have a period, take a pack, have a period...So, I am in a GREAT mood! 
Oh, and I am on a diet! What do I want right now? a Donut! a Donut and Pepsi to make me feel better about KU raping me and my vagina.  But no, having roasted brussel sprouts. Did I mention I might cry?
On a side note, I am calling our ins tomorrow to see what I can do to find a psychologist/therapist not affiliated with KU, even if I have to pay more, it would be great to have one closer and one that I loved and who loved me.  Either way....my Mom is coming Thursday and this is going to be an amazing week. Donut or no donut. Fuck KU.


Good Daya To You! I Said, Good Day!!! Daya

The difference between a book and a story?

Before I start, I will let you know that this blog will not be funny but perchance informative.

As an English Major and avid reader, I have always read to my children. I read to them in the womb, buy them a book at every celebration.  Sang lullabyes and children's songs to them constantly.  In those long car rides after so many songs and unable to read while driving, I decided to start telling stories.  On a whim I make up a story about a Batman and Spiderman saving the townspeople from Bank robbers! Then I tell another story about witches and kids who don't mind their mothers, and by then they are asleep.

Today, like many days since then, Dayne asks me read him 3 books and tell him 3 stories. I barter and we settle on 2 books and 2 stories, then he forgets to pick out his books so I only tell 2 stories.
He likes the ones about the witches! I mixed it up today and told a story about a good witch and he didn't like it. I had to retell it about a witch who eats the lost boy, Dwayne, who didn't listen to his mom!

When in doubt, tell a story!
Good Daya To You! I Said, Good Day!!! Daya

throw me a friggin bone here.

i've decided for the purpose of writing blogs i am no longer going to participate in the usage of capital letters. it is simply a waste of my time to have to continually push the shift button and/or backspace delete, shift button etc.  goodbye capitals.
now to my point...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIMsryG0g74
reasons i hate this commercial:
who would make such a giant bunny?
what do they do with the bunny when it is done?
no one would have space for that bunny in their house.
why would you waste that much material making that ridiculous bunny for this stupid commercial when a bag of leaves from central park would make the same impact?
is that bunny filled with poly fill?
seriously. i cannot watch this commercial without knowing what you do with that huge FUCKING BUNNY!
Good Daya To You! I Said, Good Day!!! Daya