Due to recent events (my seizure) i have had to cut back on my meds until I see my psychiatrist again. I take meds for a reason. Of course I do, that is a silly statement. Without the meds I am irritable, angry, bitchy etc. Everything is annoying, nobody can do anything right and I want to just be alone. 24/7.
So without half of the meds i was taking...here I am, bitchy, irritated. i don't want to leave the house. I'm fat. I'm tired. I want to be left alone. I feel like crying or killing someone, which ever comes first. I have a headache by every afternoon.
Thanksgiving is days away and I get to spend 4 days with people I love the most but I know it is going to be hard for me to enjoy them and I know it will be hard for them to enjoy me. I have no idea what to do and my husband doesn't understand. I try explaining things to him and he says I would be happy if I was skinny and we had money. Yes, honey I am sure that when I am skinny and rich I will want to stop pulling my hair out or crying 24/7 because the Christmas lights I put up today don't work or the cobwebs I asked you to take down 3 weeks ago are down but now sitting in piles on the mantle. I am sure i won't want to stab you the next time you take your shoes off in the middle of the living room or throw your coat on the table instead of hanging it anywhere. Yes. I am sure being skinny will make that all go away.
I am mostly writing this as a warning to my family that I am not feeling well. Also, if you know my husband you might try to explain this to him because he doesn't read my blogs and I don't even try to explain my mental well-being to him anymore.
Thanks.
Stay Funny San Diego,
Daya
2 comments:
Tough times.:( Daya, you are amazing, beautiful and strong though and you can get through this. Love you.
Amy
I too take meds for my depression/anxiety. I have changed how many I normally take also..partly on accident and cus I am forgetful...and have noticed a change. I worry about taking them while pregnant and what would happen if I don't have them anymore. I don't know if my husband completely gets it either, but he knows they make me happier. This time of year is the worse and I have really been feeling it lately.
Hang in there babe and know you are not alone! Amy is right...you are strong and beauiful and we will get through this time!! If you need to talk or bitch or whatever...call me! :) Love you, hugs!! Erin
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