I feel better today, albeit a bit frazzled. I hate leaving the house for a few days without it being spotless. I got the floors mopped yesterday and the boys rooms cleaned, dishes done. However I still need to clean bathrooms and vaccuum. Chett was adamant about cleaning the bathrooms himself and vaccuuming but I think it is a pity clean... just saying he will clean to make me feel less stressed but he never does as good a job as I do. I also don't want him to clean just because I had a meltdown. I am still quite capable of cleaning. It will be amazing to come home for Christmas to a clean house and know that I can relax and let the mayhem of kids and presents go on without stress.
Also, the outpour of support and enouragement and flattery is pretty nice as well. It is hard to hear some of those things, as Julia Roberts says in Pretty Woman "the hard things are easier to believe". My husband constantly tells me I am beautiful too. I have learned not to roll my eyes and to just smile and say thanks. I feel like I have a pretty face but everything else is meh. So I definitely need to work on my self image. Yesterday may have been bad but it was just an angry I feel so upset kind of day, it has been much worse so I know the meds are kicking in.
I am also getting away from the house and kids for a couple days for some much needed time with one of my best girlfriends! that ought to be good for the soul. Thankfully I have an amazing family that are willing to help me out and be there for me when I need them!
I feel like there is hope today for happiness and that is something I haven't felt for awhile. I want to thank all of you for the kind and encouraging words. It means so much to have such a grand support system that I didn't know I had.
Merry Everything,
Daya
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